Monday, March 31, 2008

86 year old's letter............

Isn't it refreshing to read emails such as this one?
86-year old lady's letter to bank
Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, ag ain, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

(Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman) 'YA JUST GOTTA LOVE ' US SENIORS' !!!!!
And remember: Don't make old ladies mad. They don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to set them off.

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Linda said...

Oh, this gave me a good giggle. I love this and I for sure would want to stay on her happy side. Hugs, Linda

Penless Thoughts said...

Is this suppose to be true? If it is she is one spunky lady!!!!! I know many of us feel like that!

Betty said...

I do think it's a real letter and I applaud her....

Thanks for the visit...have a great week....Betty

Judy said...

That is cute.

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Betty, that is SO cute, an 86 year old..go girl! Talk about the lack of customer service these days, she's so right.

I love your new banner & background! Looks great!


Mary said...


Ladies in their 80s are feisty. We just had an incident here in town where a man in his 20s tried to snatch a purse from an 84 year old woman. She hung onto it and he finally gave up and ran down the street.

Thanks for the chuckle. Hope you are doing well. Love your new look.


Yellow Rose Arbor said...

This is hilarious! I feel like copying it and using it too!


Charlotte said...

This letter is priceless. Thank you for sharing.

FrenchGardenHouse said...

ha, this was a great one, Betty! Thanks for sharing. It's so very true.
Hope you are having a blessed week, friend.
xo Lidy

Reflection Through The Seasons said...

Both John and I enjoyed reading this..... What a great lady.

I love your blog makeover..... its beautiful. Love - Marion

Betty said...

I love it. So funny.

Nora Lee said...

This letter is right on the mark! Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed it!


Cathy said...

lol, Betty, that was something else! I hope her health is good with all that carrying on she did.

Yolanda Elizabet said...

Thanks for sharing Betty, this was both so funny and so true! Hurray for senior citizens!

BTW like the new spring frock your blog is wearing!

HORIZON said...

You've just got to love it Betty. When you think of the profits these banks make from us too!
Ohh and that bird cage below! wow!!
Hubby and l are looking for a bigger cage for our wee Lovebird- we were just talking about it last night.
Beautiful. Now l wonder if you will get a wee bird or two for it??
hugs and bests
ps- love the new look for the blog.

cityfarmer said...

My bank is about to make me crazy....they are impersonal and the lobby smells like body odor

...the parking lot is full of potholes and the drive thru window takes app. 10 min. no matter what size the transaction is....what is so complicated about cashing a check for 100 dollars? I'm tempted to switch, but where's a girl to go...they are all like.

I've been a bad girl...not blogging too much, but will try to do better

Jewelgirl said...

LOVE THIS, wish I had a good
copy to send to my neighbors,
I know they would love it!

Anonymous said...

Credit unions are the way to go. This letter hits at the core of a tragic reality of capitalism gone amuck. We must stand up where we can. I pray for the banking, pharmacuetical industries regularly. Go for it sister!!