Monday, April 20, 2009

For all the blogging sisters............

We all need a laugh so here are a few for today...Betty

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q &
A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.


Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.


Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.


Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?


Q
: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.


Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.


Q
: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.


Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.


Q
: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.


Q
: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


'ESTROGEN ISSUES'


10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'


1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.


AND, the Number One thing only women understand:


1. OTHER WOMEN

WE ALL NEED A SMILE!

16 comments:

Allidink said...

LOL great post! It's so good to laugh :) Thanks.

All the best,
Allison

Beautiful Pear Tree Lane said...

Hi Betty,
This is to much!! I simply loved it, just loved it!! I highly recommend this to anyone who wants a hearty belly laugh!!! Blessings,
Sue

Heather said...

this was cute! too funny!

Susie said...

Thanks for helping me start my dad with a giggle!
xo

Barbara said...

Very funny.

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

That was so good!!! Thank you not only for the smile but for the laugh. connie

Barbara said...

Glad to have your visit Betty.
I have tried to E-mail you with the address I had from the past but a number of times over the months when Ihave tried it has just come back to me.
Maybe if you E-m ail me then I can do a 'reply' and see where that gets me. That is if you want to of course.

Florida Sue said...

Hi Betty!
I hope everything is going well and that your brother has recovered and his CHF is improving No more water in your den, I hope. I hope you and your hubby are having a great spring, and I send you my very best wishes!

A Hug To You.

Sue

Cathy said...

That is cute, Betty, hope you are doing well.

Mary said...

Betty,

Thanks for the laugh, my friend. I needed it.

Blessings,
Mary

Florida Sue said...

Hi Betty!

Hope things are going well for you, and that you are enjoying a nice spring. I know that you said that you have a lot going on right now, but sometime I would love to see more den/sunroom photos. We are thinking of building a fish pool too. Any hints? Of course I would love to hear about your three kitty cats as well. Take care, my blogging friend!

Cheers,

Sue.

Heather said...

Hi Betty! I just wanted to stop in and say hi. I hope you're doing well.

the pleasures of homemaking said...

LOL! Those were funny! Thanks for stopping by - it's always nice to see a comment from you!

Manuela

Anonymous said...

Betty,

Just drop by to say we hope
everything is going alright for
you and family.
I miss your blog when you don't
have time for updates. We would
love to see more pictures of
completed den. Hope you will
soon be able to post more blogs
for your friends.
Take care and God bless you!

Jillian said...

Very funny. So true sometimes! Ha!

Sandi said...

These are great! I just emailed the pregnancy ones to my daughter.She is pregnant for her third child.
Blessings~